The Friend Zone
The dreaded friend zone. Whenever we hear those words we just can’t help but feel rejected and hurt. No one likes to be rejected and no one should get hurt. It’s tough from both parties to tell someone you don’t feel or like them the same way. In ways, people can get scarred from them and never talk to the person ever again. But some people take it as an opportunity to get to know the person as a friend and later down the road hope to change the persons view.
Joe chimes in with his advice and what it was like before him and Dinty got married.
Be the best you
This can’t be emphasized enough and is probably one of the most important pieces of advice. No one likes when they’re lied to, so don’t be someone who you’re not just because you think that person will like you more. Everyone has a fun, outgoing, and ambitious side to them waiting to be revealed.
When you like someone you can start to overthink and second guess yourself. You might be asking yourself questions like, “Maybe she won’t like this” or “What if she thinks that’s dumb.” Joe gives some good advice by telling you to think about how you act around your best friend. They are your best friend for a reason; you can tell them anything, act yourself and think for yourself. Treat her like you would treat your best friend!
Who doesn’t like laughing? Doctors always say the best cure is laughter. You don’t have to be the funniest person in the world or have jokes recited to tell on demand. But remember, you might already be friends with her and that means she likes qualities of you which make them want to hang out with you. Be confident and remember that the person you like is your friend for a reason.
Find things that are common ground and stick with it. If you guys both like music then talk about your favorite song or genre. For example, elaborate on why you think Taylor Swift is your favorite pop artist (if that happens to be your favorite artist..)
Anyways, the thing to avoid is small talk. “How’s the weather?” type conversations will not be helpful in getting you out the friendzone. Talk about recent movies, concerts or events. In doing so, you create a stronger connection to things that you both like. It creates a sense of comfort to know that the person you like can talk to you about things that she finds important.
Take Extra Care
Take notice of important events like their birthdays, graduation or milestones. It not only shows you care but also let’s them know that you support them. They’ll notice that you take the extra time out of your life to wish them a happy birthday or congratulations and can change the way they value you as a friend.
Leap of faith?
Now I don’t mean to say you should always jump and take the biggest risk by declaring your affection. In this case, it happened to work for Joe that Dinty had started to feel the same way about him. It’s important to understand that all the advice Joe is telling you is advice for a reason. Joe is sharing from his own experiences and the advice given does not always fit in your situation.
There’s no formula to get someone to like you nor is there any concoction that they can drink to make them like you. Neither is there a right time to tell someone that you have feelings for them.
Once you start hanging out with them more or even going out on dates with them, you can start to notice and pick up on things. Maybe they treat you differently than everyone else in their life. Maybe they go out of their way to cancel plans to be with you. Heck, if they’re staying up late to be with you or to chat, that might be a sign. I’m not saying that once you start to notice these things that it’s for certain. It sounds tacky, but sometimes you can just feel it in your gut that you know they have the same feelings.
At the end of the day, it’s up to you to take initiative. Whether you’re asking them to hang out, go on a date or profess your affection, you are taking a risk and you should know that whatever happens you’re going to be ok with either outcome. But remember, if you don’t take risks you will never know what you could have gained or lost.